The Motherfucker with the Hat

By Stephen Adly Guirgis
Directed by Peter Jensen

* We will be working from the Dramatist’s Play Service edition. All page numbers listed refer to this edition.

You will need to acquire the play. Copies will not be provided. Please bring your own copy to your audition.

You can buy on-line at
Barnes and Noble
Shakespeare and Company

In store:
Drama Bookshop
250 West 40th Street

New York, NY 10018

Shakespeare and Company Booksellers
716 Broadway

New York, NY 10003
939 Lexington
New York, NY 10065

* You must sign up in person (do not call the office to sign up). Auditions will be held at 10-minute intervals. Be certain you can make the audition date before you sign-up, and if necessary, please cancel well in advance.

Thursday 7/21, 7pm-10:30pm

Friday 7/22, 2pm-6pm
Monday 7/25, 11am-4pm
Wednesday 7/27, 12pm-4pm


Sunday 8/7, 1pm-5pm
Monday 8/8, 1:30pm-6pm

Beginning Aug 11th
Mondays, Noon-4pm

**Wednesdays, Noon-4pm
Thursdays, 6:30pm-10:30pm
Fridays, 2:00pm-6:00pm
Sundays, Noon-4pm

**During August we will not be meeting on Wednesdays

   There is two-week break between 8/23 and 9/6. Rehearsals will resume on Wednesday 9/7.

Tech will run Friday 10/14 – Sunday 10/16.

Friday 10/14 from 11am -11pm,

Saturday 10/15, Sunday 10/16 (6pm –11:30pm)

Final dress will be on Tuesday Evening 10/18 8:00pm.

First Preview Wednesday October 19th 8:00 pm

 Performance dates for this production are October 19 – November 19, 2016.

Wednesdays through Saturdays at 8pm with two Wed Matinees Nov 9th and 16th at 2:00pm


Not all actors will be needed at all the rehearsals. All actors will be called the first couple of days of rehearsal, and for run-throughs near the end of the rehearsal process (tech included) Look over the rehearsal dates carefully and indicate all conflicts when auditioning. If it is feasible, we will try to work around your conflicts when making out the final rehearsal schedule which will contain specific call times for specific scenes. You will receive a detailed schedule when cast before rehearsals begin. 


Character Breakdown with Audition Scenes to Prepare

Veronica Latina late 20’s-late 30’s very passionate, wild, romantic, and temperamental, likes a clean place, pays for her Moms cable bill, cuts hair, an addict, in a lot of pain… wants security and love

Pages 11 -13  
First Line: Jacki: —You watch your mouth about my mother—

(Cut Jacki speech in middle on p 12 and p 13)
Last Line: Veronica: Okay?

Page 37
First line: Veronica:  —What about me, huh?!

Last line: Veronica:   and why’s he out fucking played-out AA hos?!

Jacki— Latino late 20’s-late 30’s passionate, on parole, finally seems to be getting it together then everything falls apart, a decent loving guy who has lost his way, and because of that has become selfish, in a lot of pain…

Page 7-9
First line: Jacki: I Dunno!

Cut page 9 except last speech
Last line: Jacki: Why shouldn’t we all be nice, or at least try…

Page 13
First line: Jacki: —Questioned your integrity?!

Last Line: Jacki: I want the owner! Tell me! ( Beat)

Page 41-42
First line: Jacki: Look, bro—we’re not really friends, okay?

Last line: Jacki: So get off my ass!


Ralph D.—any ethnicity, 30-45  a leader, personable, charming, escapes his pain thru his world view, sense of humor, extramarital sex, and surfing! Is also in pain but is good at not feeling it. (Nudity is indicated in the script but not required)

Pages 16-17
First line: Ralph D.:  Yo, I’m serious. We got room.

Last line: Ralph D.: And the fact that she would cheat on you is proof.

Pages 49-50
First line: Ralph D.: I’ll tell you why? Because it doesn’t really fuckin’matter.

Last line: Ralph D.: —it was something that I should have avoided.

Victoria–any ethnicity, 30-45 passionate, forceful, lonely, losing her self-esteem, was a successful Wall Street trader, now in business with Ralph, in recovery, fighting for love…

Page 30
First line: Jackie: I am so zooted!

Last line: Victoria: You’re a sensitive, feeling man.

Pages 31 – 32
First line: Victoria: I’m not saying this is me.

Last line: Victoria: You’re just lying because you think lying is being nice.

Pages 35 -36
First line: Jackie: No way. There is absolutely no fuckin’ way that that could be true.

Last line: Victoria: I got more packing to do.

Cousin Julio— Latino, late 20’s-45 he might have a bit of a Puerto Rican accent, his physique is impressive, takes pride in having dignity and decorum, he’s steadfast
, does massages, some waxing, Brazilian Rolfing and is a notary public, works out at David Barton’s, emotionally complicated…

Page 21-22
First line: Cousin Julio: Anyway, you know—maybe I got it wrong, I must confess I do enjoy a frothy margarita or a nice cold Beck’s beer every now and then—particularly at gatherings.

Last line: Cousin Julio: I don’t think I wanna hear this.

Page 25 – 26
First line: Cousin Julio: You borrowed a gun from Chuchi?

Last line: Cousin Julio:  Take the empanadas.